Friday, February 29, 2008


Last night started off pleasant enough. After my evening gourmet repast (Blue Spa Select Savory Salmon Entrée, yum), I preened my fur for a bit and checked to see what my boyfriend was doing (sleeping on the couch as usual, yawn). Feeling a bit rambunctious, I decided to see what kind of fun things I could find around my house. That's when I discovered the BAG OF DOOM.
Now as all of you other cats understand, even though our humans somehow don't get it, a brown paper bag is nearly as good as a cardboard box. If it is open, we must get inside it.

So here I find this perfectly good unoccupied paper bag that was just begging for me to crawl inside. Naturally, following my highly refined feline instinct, I do just that. This was a particularly nice shopping bag that makes crunchy sounds and it even has these loops that I can poke my head through.

But then all of a sudden the bag attacked me…and the loop was caught around my head…and I couldn't get out…and I didn't know what to do so I started to run…and the bag wouldn't let go so I ran faster…and my female human jumped up to get the bag…and it ripped…and I ran faster…and it wouldn't let go…so I ran around the kitchen counter three times to shake it off me…and I was still trapped…and my human was shouting so I got even more scared and started running through the house as fast as I could go…and my human tried to catch me but she couldn't…and that bag still wouldn't let go…and I kept running loops around the house…and my other human dashed up from his office…and he made a grab for me…and I dodged and scratched him…and I ran the other way…and the bag was still on my neck…so I kept running to shake it free…and my male human finally pounced on me…and he pulled that evil bag off of my neck!!!!! Pant, pant, pant.

It was soooooo scary. Whew. Let me tell you, this is the sort of stress that no cat should endure. My boyfriend checked to make I was okay and my humans were agitated too. It was so upsetting that I just wanted to go find a dark secluded place to decompress. My humans kept pestering me in my solitude but I wasn't coming out until I had recomposed myself, long after they had gone to bed.

After a night like that, the only thing to do was reward myself a treat of a nice mouse! Just to make sure my humans were aware of my hunting prowess, I carefully arranged my prize on the welcome mat. I'll have to check my diary but I believe that was my 15th mouse since I moved in here in June.

So beware my kitty friends. Not all paper bags are safe and some are downright vicious!

1 comment:

Daisy said...

That exact thing happened to one of my Mommie's Cats-Who-Came-Before! She said it was terrifying for him, and he was running like a madman all over the house with the bag smashing against the walls, and when it finally got off of him, he was panting and his paws were all sweaty and his eyes big as saucers. It sounds very terrible. ::shivers::